Artwork by Soft Sub
Someone asked me what I get from being a sadist/torturess. Sometimes I get nothing, and other times I experience complex, unbelievable mental states. When the conditions are right, it gives me an intense energy rush, a unique kind of euphoria. It is the feeling that I can accomplish anything, that I am almighty.
I enjoy the thrill of the forbidden. I like breaking taboos and pushing myself to the very edge of my comfort zone, and I also like pushing other people's comfort zones as well. Just the whole idea of inflicting pain on someone is really against everything I strive to be in my regular life. I consider myself a compassionate person and wouldn't dream of really harming anybody. But, when I am in my dominant mind space, and I can go there at will, I put aside the cultural/gender training I was raised with. Doing this feels incredibly good. Its my way of taking a little vacation from societal expectations.
I know it is only temporary. I know that I am not really an Evil Queen. Well, maybe in a past life!
There have been times when I felt myself going in too deep and I had to pull myself away. These games we play are dangerous, after all. That is why we negotiate, that is why we strive to be as safe as possible, that is why we play within agreed upon parameters. This allows me to be a terribly twisted, cruelly demented, task mistress, but only for that glorious time frame we set aside.
So, what do I get out of it? Pure, raw, delicious, gratifying, POWER!
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Alas! I am back. Because of circumstances in my life involving some major transitions, I have neglected my dear blog readers! But, I am fine and well and all is as it should be. I shall be regaling you with tales of my adventures in the private universe I share with my kinky co-conspirators, as well as any passing thoughts I have concerning my explorations in erotic power exchange.
Recently, I had occasion to enjoy the company of some very talented rope experts. I spent a splendid weekend at the end of May attending Shibaricon, the huge rope bondage conference held in Chicago every year. This was my third time to partake of this amazing event, and as always, I was dazzled and inspired. I learned some new techniques and connected with some great people during the classes and at the play parties.
I attended a variety of classes, and thoroughly enjoyed them all. Some of my favorites were: Ecstatic Breath Worshop and Binding the Jewels with Suzanne Sxysadist (a phenomenal woman whom I worship!)
One Rope, Two Knots & Three Ties with Tony Buff & Derek da Silva(two totally hot dudes)
Microbondage with Morpheus (cool guy from Canada)
Manipulation of the Bound and Erotic Rope Domination with a side of pain with M.Yu (one of my favorite people on the planet)
Rope Torture as Spiritual Cleansing with Boss Bondage (one mean sadist but with a good heart)
I learned some new skills and had the opportunity to apply them right away.
I was very pleased to give three gentlemen attendees, who happen to be rope tops, their very first rope bottoming experience. It felt great to switch roles during one of the classes and practice rope with a guy who told me he was a dom, but had never used rope before. I was patient with him and his fifty foot piece of nylon rope. I let him tie me first, then I practiced on him a bit and he seemed to enjoy being on the receiving end with me using my hemp rope. Another guy I "helped" is a very talented fetish photogropher and it was an honor to put rope on him and to manipulate him while he was bound! The third guy was tuly amazing. We had originally planned to take turns practicing rope ties on each other. Once I had the rope on him, he seemed to be in a trance, and he just wanted me to keep on practicing on him. At that point, he definiely did not want to try learning the tie on me, he just wanted to enjoy being bound. He had such a wonderful energy emanting from him. I wanted more, so later that night, I had him as my guest at a little gathering in one of the hotel suites. I showed him what I learned in the Binding the Jewels class, and we participated in some other wicked and delightful amusements inovlving rope and the new toys I purchased earlier from the vendors area.
All in all, my Shibaricon experience was simply marvelous!