Monday, September 14, 2009

Don't Fuck With Officer Akume

Another prisoner was placed in my custody last night. He was brought to me because I have have special knowledge of how these type of criminals work. He had been caught in a public restroom engaging in obscene behavior. I could tell the minute I laid eyes on him that he was a pervert of the most despicable kind, I know I can spot them a mile away. Anyhow, the first thing I needed to make this pathetic creep realize is that he was in my world now, and the only law that matters is THE LAW OF AKUME. I placed him under arrest, but I did not read him his rights because prisoners have absolutely no rights whatsoever in my twisted realm. He would just have to take anything I decided to dish out. The first step was to have him strip for a full body inspection. I had him get in a really humiliating position and hold it as I roughly "inspected" him. His trembling legs and embarrassed blush just made me chuckle. He was reminded that he better never hide anything from me.
Then the questioning began. Over and over I asked the same questions until he gave me the answer I wanted. He was such a wimp. It did not take long for him to admit to his crime which happened to be self sodomy. I laughed out loud, a full belly laugh. Self sodomy!!! HAHA Even my prisoner started laughing a bit.
Then I slapped him hard across the face. It was swift and severe. I said, just because its funny does not mean its not serious. Self sodomy is listed in the Texas Penal Code as a crime against the whole state of Texas and Texas is a mighty big place. This got my guys attention and he wasn't smiling anymore. "Lucky for you" I said," I only enforce THE LAW OF AKUME. In my world, self sodomy is not illegal, so you won't be punished for that, however I know you are hiding more information from me!"

I had to rough him up a bit to get the information out of him. My boots are really sturdy and make for fabulous ass kicking. I got him down on the ground and kicked him good and hard as any self respecting cop would do. Over and over I kicked him in the same area until my leg got tired and his whimpering had started to annoy me. I had to take my rubber truncheon and give him several whacks to help him remember what his crimes were. Finally, I beat out a long list of offenses from him and they were all pretty gross!

Now, he will have to report to me, Officer Akume, on a regular basis to pay his debt to society!